As part of our batch cooking series, I bring to you . . . Tofu Scramble. My husband loves tofu scramble. Like in a major way. This is great make ahead food. It is perfect for breakfasts. It is yummy for lunch. It is even perfect for breakfast for dinner. Oh yeah, awesome for camping, and it heats up great on a camp stove or on a fire. The best part is that these babies freeze well. My tip is to wrap them in parchment paper instead of foil and then pop them in a freezer bag or freezer container. Then you can just pop them straight in the microwave and reheat them for about 45 seconds. Badda bing . . . breakfast is done.
To see the video on how to make these click below
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tofu Scramble for Batch Cooking ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 blocks of Tofu (I use mori-nu firm, but any firm will do)
6 TBS. nutritional yeast
2 TBS spicy mustard
1 small onion diced (alt. 2 tsp. onion powder)
1 bell pepper (optional)
2 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. cumin
6ish dashes of liquid smoke
1/2 tsp. turmeric
4 pinches black
salt veggies of choice (I generally use mushrooms, spinach, and tomatoes but anything on hand is good)
Salsa or hot sauce to taste
parchment paper or foil
Start with a medium to large sized sauté pan on medium heat. Dry (with no water or oil) sauté the onion and bell pepper until soft. Add in the tofu and crumble it. Add in the spices and stir to coat all the tofu. Add in your veggies of choice and cook until heated through. Once the mix is cooked through. Use a slotted spoon to place a spoonful down the center of your tortilla shell (we use fajita size flour shells, but corn shells work as well). Add salsa or hot sauce to taste. Wrap it up without tucking in the ends. Wrap the burritos in parchment paper or foil and place in a freezer safe bag or container.
To reheat, place the burrito in the microwave or in the stove. If microwaving remove from foil first (if using foil) and start with 45 seconds. If reheating for camping, use foil if reheating in a camp fire. If using a stove top, remove all wrapping and reheat in pan on stove top. Makes about 20 small burritos.
Over here at Live, Eat, Be Well it is everybody’s favorite day: Taco Tuesday . . . only its Sunday, but still . . . TACOS! Who doesn’t love a good taco? We love ours piled high with goodies like tomatoes and guacamole. But let’s face it avocados are expensive. Not only that but they are also really high in fat content, so you can’t eat 10 of them in one sitting. Or at least, I can’t. At the store this week, the big avocados were 1.20 per avocado. That could sky rocket the cost of meal as well as skyrocket the fat content.
“But, Heather, they are so yummy,” you say. I am totally with you. More than you could ever know. In fact, right behind oranges, I would say the lovely little avocado is my favorite food. So, when we are vegan on the cheap, we have to find an alternative. So what is on the menu for Taco Tuesday (on Sunday)?
Oat taco filling (from Oatrageous Oatmeals cookbook): It has all sorts of yummy stuff like steel cut oats and kidney beans.
Assortment of taco shells (meaning flour or corn)
Topping selection: Tomatoes, lettuce, onion
And FAKEAMOLE aka CHEAPAMOLE aka fake, cheap guacamole.
Fake guacamole? I can hear your skepticism, but trust me, just go with it. It is an avocado free guacamole-ish topping/dip. It tastes wonderful and is cheap and is low in fat. (Well practically fat-free). So it is a totally doable option.
Here is the video:
2 Garlic Cloves (minced)
1.5 cups frozen peas (thawed)
4 ounces canned diced green chilies (alternative: jalapeno or cayenne pepper)
Juice of 2 limes
1 tsp. Cumin
2 TBSP onion (or to taste) (diced)
One small tomato (diced)
1/4 cup of cilantro (optional, to taste)
In a food processor (you can use your blender, but you may need to add some water, so I think the food processor works better), combine garlic, peas, green chilies. Process until smooth. Scrap down the side of the processor, add lime juice cumin. Process again until mixed well and smooth. Finally add in the onions and cilantro. I like to add this into the food processor, but you can optionally just mix them in with a spoon. If adding to the processor, pulse until well mixed in (just a few pulses). Dump out into a bowl and let it cool its heels in the fridge for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, stir in tomatoes, and eat!
Grocery shopping can be stressful. Creating a grocery budget can just about send you into a full blown panic attack. Don’t ever look at the receipt, am I right? No, of course not. You can make grocery shopping fun and cheap with just a little bit of planning.
The first thing you want to do is review the ads for the best sales. What is on sale for cheap? Figure that out and then plan your weekly menu. Find my menu below. I spent $147 for all the groceries for this menu plus a few extras. You can watch my grocery haul video here:
And here is our menu for the whole week. As you can see, you can eat yummy food for cheap.
|Mom/Dad Pre-Breakfast||Apple/Ginger Shot; Green Juice||Apple/Ginger Shot; Green Juice||Apple/Ginger Shot; Green Juice||Apple/Ginger Shot; Green Juice||Apple/Ginger Shot; Green Juice||Apple/Ginger Shot; Green Juice||Apple/Ginger Shot; Green Juice|
|Breakfast||Grapefruit Juice/ Pancakes||Oatmeal||Smoothie||Oatmeal||Smoothie||Oatmeal||Smoothie|
|Dad Lunch||Sandwiches||Beans/Rice; Lettuce Boat; Fruit; Treat||Beans/Rice; Lettuce Boat Fruit; Treat||Enchiladas; Fruit; Treat||Beans/Rice; Lettuce Boats; Fruit; Treat||Beans/Rice; Lettuce Boats; Fruit; Treat||Baked Potatoes|
|Mom Lunch||Sandwiches||Soup||Soup||Enchiladas||Soup||Soup||Baked Potatoes|
|Kids Lunch||Sandwiches||Sandwiches||Mac-N-Cheese||Mac-N-Cheese||Rice/Veggies||Rice/Veggies||Baked Potatoes|
|Dinner||Oat Taco with fakeamole||Very Veggie Burgers; Fries; Salad||Enchiladas; Salad||Mac-N-Cheese; Sauteed Greens||Tofu and Rice; Steamed Veggies||Pita Pizza; Salad||Nachos|
|Other Snacks||Brownies||Hummus||Chickpea Salad|
Happy New Year’s! 2015 is going to be epic. I can feel it in my bones. It is going to be the year of the VEGAN! So, I just did my shopping for our New Year’s Eve party tonight. It is just going to be a family affair. Most of what we are making will last us tonight and tomorrow, but I am just going to cost it out as one party. It is going to be so much FUN. We are doing finger foods and playing games. When the games are done, we are doing an 80’s movie night marathon! I’m so excited (just in case all my exclamation points didn’t suggest that).
Here is the menu:
A veggie platter with celery, carrots, cucumber, radishes.
Vegan Caesar dip.
A olive and pickle tray with black and green olives and pickles.
Homemade chips and a sour cream dip.
Homemade chips with salsa.
Baked homemade fries.
Virgin bloody Mary’s.
But Heather, you say, that sounds a little rich for my blood. Trust me. I got enough food to feed 10 people, but it will be our party food and probably some leftover stuff for tomorrow. The grand total is $35.00. Yep. That is correct. $35.00. That makes it $7/per person including drinks. The best part is that is it will carry over to tomorrow. Yeah! Let’s ring that New Year’s bell with an inexpensive, cruelty free treat.
I am a member of many vegan facebook groups. One of the recurrent themes is about cost and grocery bills. After my daughter’s 16th birthday and Christmas, our own food budget was feeling a pinch. I have been feeding our family of 5 and sometimes 6 on about $10 a day . . . add in some staples and we are talking $100 a week. We are eating delicious foods. For the start of 2015, I am going to post at least one of our meals a day with a per portion cost. I will do portions because then you can see how many people it feeds. For example, if it is 4 portions, that means I made it for 4 people. Sometimes there are leftovers, and I will note that as well. Then I am going to do a What I eat in a day video once per week with the cost break down. I’m going to do that for all of January. I’ll start with a teaser meal from today. Today we had a delicious lunch that consisted of a salad (lettuce, tomato, cucumber, green onion, radishes) with Quick 6 salad dressing (homemade), two tacos with corn tortilla shells, refried beans, sweet potato, tomatoes, hot sauce. It was $1.11 per portion for 3 portions.
P.S. Here is a link to the dressing. In our family, we use orange juice and half the miso.
I wrote 9-8-2014 on the front of a blue journal because that is the day I died (figuratively, of course). I will never be that person again. I am going to be someone new. I have been watching a cheesy TV show about transforming your life. At first it was kinda fun to watch. The more I watched it, the more I thought, “wow, I really want to hike that mountain or visit that place or do that.” The people on the show kept saying that it was time to stop existing and start living. The more they said it, the more I started to cry. Every episode turned into heart wrenching sobs. That is not a normal reaction to a TV show. I am never going to be on a TV show that transforms your life. I have to do that for myself. I have to be the one to make the change. Maybe no one will ever know that I have made the change, but I will know.
So, how am I going to make the change? I have no freaking idea. That is the truth. Today, day one, I found out that my child is struggling in school. She has never had a problem, and I feel deeply responsible. I just thought, I will never be a good mom, a good person, a success. But that is the thinking that got me into this. So, I figured out what I can do. It may not solve the problem, but I made some new house rules, I went and got her a workbook and some flashcards, and I talked to her about it. Even if it doesn’t solve the problem, I took a step. I realized that this is how I am going to transform my life. What I try may not always work, but I can try things and try to solve the problem and one step at a time, the problem will be solved.
There are so many things I want to do: lose weight, finish my dissertation, find my dream job, publish a book, have an organized house. But the problem I find myself in is that I always try to do everything at once and then when I get overwhelmed or fail, I just give up. But not this time. I am going to see this through.
So, that begs the question what I am going to do first. Well, my sleeping pattern really messes up my life. I realized that it messes with my work schedule, my eating schedule, my fitness. Every aspect of my life is touched by my sleeping issues. So, that is definitely first on my list. I am going to start going to bed at 10 pm and waking up at 6 am. That is my plan. Of course, I have a day this week that totally throws that off because of a family situation where I will have to get up at 4 am. Usually, I would just say, “I’ll start after that.” But I’m not going to say that this time. I am going to stick to it. 10 pm seems so early to me. Like insane in the membrane early, but it is something that I can do. I think it will take about a week or two to retrain my mind and body to this new sleeping schedule.
The other thing I am starting with is journaling. A few years ago I took this leadership class, and the woman who led the class said the most important thing you can do is journal every morning for 3 pages even if you just throw them away right after. I never took up the habit. Then I was reading an article the other day where the author said the number one thing successful people have in common is journaling. I know that is probably true. So, I am going to start journaling. Today I got to half a page before I just couldn’t keep going. Tomorrow I am going to try to get to a whole page, and by next week work my way up to three pages. Baby steps folks, baby steps.
I have never gone out dancing without my husband. I’ve just never gone out by myself. He doesn’t dance, and I love to dance. I am not a good dancer. In fact, I’m down right bad. But I love it. I love to just move your body to the beat. It makes me so happy. So, when my friend asked me to go out dancing on Saturday night, Robert said, “you should go, I’ll stay home with the kids.” It was so much fun. I spent 15 bucks and had a great time.
So, what does all this matter? Saturday night made me have this strange realization (times two) and I want to share them with you.
So, I have always loved dancing. We go out dancing maybe six times per year. The thing I always hated about going dancing was just getting winded and sore and not being able to keep up. I hated to go and just feel out of breath and tired. It was embarrassing. I think it kept me from really enjoying it as frequently as I would have liked to.
A few years ago, I started going to Zumba every day. I was so excited when we went out dancing and I could actually dance through two or three songs. I felt so empowered.
Now, you all know, I haven’t been exercising as much as I would like to. I just haven’t been doing enough. Well, I was so worried about going dancing this weekend because my friend is in the fitness industry, and I just knew that I wouldn’t be able to keep up. I almost said no because I was so nervous about it.
Well, guess what happened? I danced for three hours straight. I mean, really danced. It was glorious. I thought I would wake up ready to die the next day. But I didn’t. I was barely even sore. I am convinced it is because I have such an improved diet. I think my clean diet helped me have more energy, faster recovery. I am so proud of myself. But what I got out of this dance adventure is that I can do it. I can work out and improve my fitness. I don’t need to feel embarrassed or worried or ashamed. I can do it.
Eating healthy has really changed my body and my life.
I would never go out to get hit on. I am married and deeply love my husband. However, on Saturday night, I got hit on 8 times. EIGHT! By eight different people. Every time I go out, I am always comparing myself. I always feel like my friends’ fat wingman. Not Saturday. I was there with a beautiful girl who is a fitness instructor. I was not the fat wingman. I still don’t feel like the prettiest girl in the room, but I felt so wonderful to know that people do find me attractive, and I am not always second fiddle. It felt really good. What I got out of it was that I need to just stop looking in the mirror and finding something I don’t like when plainly there is plenty to like.
So . . . dancing . . . it does wonders for the soul.
I find the utensils you have in your kitchen can be super awesome in helping cook delicious meals. But I’ve also found that all you really need is a knife and bowl. That being said, I love my kitchen utensils. I classify them in two categories: cheap items that you can just purchase on a whim and expensive items that take a bit more savings. This list is in no particular order. Check out my shop for more information on where to purchase each of these items.
Vitamixs are expensive. No doubt about it. But it is totally worth saving up for. I mean . . . totally. I use this machine everyday, multiple times a day. It is great. You can make banana ice cream, hummus, smoothies, soups, dressings, sauces, love. I mean anything you can think of. The great thing about a high speed blender is that is pulverizes everything, so no strawberry seeds to worry about. Greens are made smooth. Frozen things . . . no problem. If you can’t afford a Vitamix, the Ninja blender gets the job done (just not as well).
I thought after I purchased my Vitamix that I would never use my food processor again. Boy was I wrong. Food processors are great for a whole host of things that the blender just doesn’t quite master. It is great when you are making things chunky (like a chunky applesauce). It is also much better for making things like bean or tempeh burgers, and I even prefer it for some dips. You may want to experiment with different recipes and see which ones work best in which machine. The food processor also has the cool chopping and grating attachments. I really don’t use them that often, but when I am making a lot of chopped vegetables (especially around the holidays), I use it all the time.
I also thought I would never use a dehydrator. Nobody’s got time for that. I had this old Ronco food dehydrator. I tried it out a few times. Man did it suck. Nothing got evenly dehydrated. Everything stuck to the trays. I just hated it. I was constantly rotating the trays. It was quite awful. Then I saw some youtube videos and they used the Excalibur. It was way out of my price range, of course. I told my husband about my desire to try a different kind of food dehydrator, and he was on the hunt. He found one on ebay (the really expensive one for the price of the cheap one) that was missing a tray. He bought it for my birthday. I love it. I made apples, bananas, pears, crackers. The best part is that when I find fruit on sale, I can purchase it and freeze some and dehydrate some. This works like magic.
4. Knife set
One thing I learned from a good friend of mine is–always invest in a good knife set. He told me that when I was really young, and I always took it to heart. Now that being said, the knife set you see pictured, is the knife set I actually own. It only cost about $40. The reason I like it is that it is dishwasher safe and sharpenable (is that a word?) So, I like them because they aren’t bank breaking and I can sharpen it as often as need be. Having good knives makes food preparation so much easier. And ease of use is a huge factor in how often we cook.
I don’t use my juicer everyday, but I’m glad I have it. I have the one that is pictured and it cost about 100 bucks or so. I like it because when I find a good deal on items, I can juice them. You can make green juice ice cubes to throw in soups or make some amazing apple juice. It works good enough, and I like having it around. My husband works outside, and in the summer in Texas he gets terrible leg cramps. So, he likes to take a green juice to work with him. It works wonders on helping him keep his electrolytes balanced. So, this is a handy tool to have around.
6. Citrus juicer
I do use my citrus juicer everyday. It gets orange juice out like nobody’s business. It works better for oranges than a regular juicer. It is used often. It is also great if you find a deal on lemons or limes and want to juice a bunch of those at once.
This little tool is cool, but a luxury. I like it because you can make curly fries (albeit really thin fries). You can also make curly carrots for salads. But, of course, the best is making zucchini pasta. When you have an overrun of zucchini from your garden, then pasta is on the menu and this makes a delicious zucchini pasta that is perfect for those hot summer days.
8. Citrus press
I love this freaking thing. I use it a hundred times a day. It is probably my all time favorite kitchen tool. It is amazing. It catches all the seeds. It squeeze out all the juice. You don’t get your hands dirty and you don’t have to fish out the seeds! yippee all around.
I don’t use this tool everyday, but I love it. When I make juice or squeeze lemons, I zest them first. Then I put the zest in my dehydrator. It is great to add that lemon, orange, lime flavor to all sorts of dishes and salad dressings. It also grates garlic really easily as well as other things like who nutmeg, etc. I really like this tool and am glad to have one.
10. Cool bowls
If you want to eat your food, you will want more of it. I love to have pretty plates and bowls to eat from because they are so fun. It is essential to have some mixing bowls. I prefer glass or ceramic bowls over metal bowls. I love to eat from wooden bowls, but they also aren’t ideal for mixing. Invest in a good set. I’ve had my set since I was 22. That means I’ve had them for a really long time.
If you are considering purchasing any of these items, please consider purchasing them from the links I provide in my shop (http://liveeatbewell.com/RipeTomato/?page_id=97). I receive a portion of the proceeds from each item purchased from my links, and we might as well keep it in the family.
It seems that as Americans, we are obsessed with weight loss. And is it really any wonder? Our population is growing and growing. In some demographics the rate is as high as 49% (CDC). I too have been one of those people who has tried every fad diet, every pill, every strange concoction. But nothing ever seemed to work or at least work for very long. Over the last 18 months, I have lost 36 pounds, and I continue to loose weight.
But how can I possibly do that with no fad diet? I do it through abundance and because I am a vegan. I don’t eat processed foods. That is so hard for many of us because processed foods are inexpensive. Next week, I am going to talk about how to get more fruits and veggies out of a smaller budget. But for now, I want to talk about the top 10 foods for weight loss.
1. No sodium seasoning (I use Spike or the Costco Brand)
Don’t add salt to your food. Plain and simple. Salt makes you retain water. It makes your blood pressure raise. High salt intake has been linked with osteoporosis and with stomach cancer. It is really not great to take a salt shaker and pour it on your food. Many of our foods already have salt in them, so it isn’t necessary to pour salt on them as well. For more information about salt, visit http://nutritionfacts.org/topics/salt/
What can you do instead? Use a no salt added seasoning. These are really tasty and there are many varieties available at every grocery store. Find the one that you like or make your own. If you think you can live without that salty taste, remember your taste buds replace themselves every 1o days. In no time you will be amazed at how good your food tastes without the salt and how much you don’t need it any more.
Personal story about salt intake: Recently, I put my husband on a no salt added diet for 10 days. At the end of the 10 days, I told him he could eat anything he wanted with as much salt as he wanted. He immediately picked up a bag of chips. He ate one chip and said, “I can’t eat this, it is too salty.” He said he felt sad that he no longer wanted to eat his favorite chips, but he was glad he realized how much salt is in processed foods.
Oranges are my personal favorite food. They taste so good. They can satisfy a sweet tooth or a sour tooth. The sweet and tangy orange, tangerine, or clementine can make you feel satisfied. Plus they are usually pretty inexpensive. Oranges are also a good source of vitamin C. So not only are you satisfying your craving for something sweet and sour, you are also getting a punch of this awesome vitamin. One large orange has nearly 100 mcg of vitamin C. And studies have shown that 500 mcg daily can have a huge impact on your health from helping your immune system to reducing wrinkles. Check out what WebMD has to say about oranges.
Kale has recently become a superstar recipe. And no wonder… it is chalked full of good nutrients. And we all know you should be eating more leafy greens. CLICK HERE for hundreds of videos on why you should choose kale. Among them are boosting your immune system, reducing your risk for lung cancer, decreasing the visibility of wrinkles, the list goes on.
But I’ve also heard a lot of people say they don’t like the taste or texture of kale. For me and my family, we eat it on the regular and we really enjoy it. You can steam it, saute it, or put it in a smoothie. My family enjoys massaged kale salad. Simply put your favorite salad dressing on a bunch of destemmed kale and massage it for about 5 minutes. Yummy!
4. Vegetable Broth
Vegetable broth may seem like a strange addition to the list. But it is really awesome because it can help you stop using oil. You have to be careful to get a low sodium brand or you can just make your own, but broth can be an excellent weight loss tool.
First, vegetable broth adds lots of flavor to food. If you want to mash a potato but don’t want to add all the fat from milks and margarine, then you can mash it with some vegetable broth, and it will be lovely and creamy.
Don’t want to use oil to saute? Then you can saute your onions and other goodies in a just a little bit of vegetable broth. It is great to add to soups and other dishes. But it is low in calories. You can just sip on some broth if you need something warm in the afternoon. It adds a lot of flavor for minimal calories.
Tomatoes are delicious. That is why you should eat them. No, I kid. Tomatoes are great because they can keep you on track. Eat tomato sauce on top of potatoes or pasta; eat salsa with veggies or potato sticks; make your own ketchup or barbecue sauce. If you are trying to reduce your fat and salt intake, then tomatoes are your best friend. Not only are the low in fat, but they taste salty so they don’t need a lot of extra salt and they can help add that salty punch in foods.
Tomatoes also reduce inflammation and have anti inflammatory properties. Tomatoes are also inexpensive, easy to grow, and can add so many different flavors to any meal.
6. Chia Seeds
Omega 3’s are important. Many Americans and people around the world get their Omega 3’s from … fish oil. Don’t do that. Fish are increasingly becoming contaminated by radiation from Fukishima in Japan. Not only that but many are harvested or raised inhumanely. They are high levels of toxins and antibiotics. They are just overall not the health food people have been led to think they are. (CLICK HERE for more information on fish).
So if you aren’t getting Omegas from fish, where should you get them? Why not give Chia seeds a a try? Yes, they used to be grown on the top of weird shapes to produce funny little plant statues. Those same Chias are a superfood. Not only are they high in Omega 3’s but they also are super filling. They make you feel full longer. They can be used to thicken anything and make a delicious pudding. Here is one of my favorite puddings by Dreena Burton. (CLICK HERE).
Drink WATER. Just Drink IT. “Oh but water doesn’t taste good,” you say. Ok, fine. Then add a few drops of flavored stevia or dilute some juice. Squeeze in a lemon. Or just chug it. But no matter what you do, drink water. If your pee isn’t clear every time you pee (which should be at least 8 times a day), then you are dehydrated. Water helps you flush toxins. It nourishes your cells. Some studies have even shown that it makes school children smarter!
How much water do you need? At a minimum, you should halve your weight, and drink that in ounces. So, if you weigh 160 pounds, you should be drinking 80 ounces of water. But do it even better and everyone try to drink 2 liters a day or more. Your body will thank you.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Bananas are the best. No, you aren’t going to overdose on potassium (unless you eat like 10,000 in 30 minutes). Bananas are a great source of vitamins including magnesium which many Americans are deficient in. It has cancer fighting properties, they are yummy, they are cheap. Bananas are really the food of the gods. Some days, I eat as many as 10 bananas in one day! (To be honest, I’ve eaten as many as 20). They are portable since they have their own container (their skin). You can eat them on the go. They aren’t a weird food since most people eat bananas, so you can eat them pretty much anywhere without fear of judgement.
Need more reasons? They have been shown to reduce the effects of hangovers and morning sickness. They even have been shown to help in fever reduction. CLICK HERE for 25 more reasons to eat bananas.
Side Note: Bananas should be spotted in order to be ripe and for you to get the full health benefits.
9. Maple syrup
Maple syrup is my favorite thing. Make sure you get real maple syrup. The real deal. It is more expensive, but it is worth it. Maple syrup is for more than topping pancakes. It is a great sweet replacement for sugar. You can use it in desserts instead of sugar. You can put it on oatmeal or over other grains like quinoa. You can use it with inexpensive things like bananas as a dip. I add it whenever I need something sweet. I put it in salad dressings and have even used it in marinara sauce.
Now if you are looking for something healthy as well as yummy, choose date sugar or just plain ol’ dates. But for me, I find that maple syrup is good. It is natural. It helps you get rid of that sweet tooth need for refined sugars. And so I love it.
10. Nutritional Yeast
Weird ingredient alert! I bet some of you have never heard of nutritional yeast. Even if you have, you probably have never used it. But have no fear, nutritional yeast is awesome. It is not like bakers yeast used in bread products. It is not like brewer’s yeast used in alcohol products. It is just a non active yeast (always labeled nutritional yeast). The first reason you should add it in to your diet is that most nutritional yeasts are fortified with vitamin B12. Yeah, we get to eat our B12.
Ok, but more importantly, nutritional yeast can help you get off the cheese. Cheese is bad. It is yucky. It is addictive and full of hormones, antibiotics, disease, calories, and fat. Cheese is the number one source of saturated fat in the American Diet. But Nutritional Yeast can give food a lovely cheeseyish flavor. Does it taste like cheese? No. But you can make some really tasty sauces (CLICK HERE) for my favorite. These sauces can help you remember the yummy creamy flavor of cheese without cheese.
Remember it only takes 10 days to change your taste buds, so give it 10 days, and feel better and be skinnier.
Today, my oldest child turns 15. Fifteen. I don’t even know how that is possible. For some reason, this birthday is hitting me hard. Maybe because she is going to start learning to drive. Maybe because I offered to keep her out of school, and she decided to go to school to be with her friends on her birthday. I’m not sure.
I thought I would share her and my story with you. It is deeply personal, but maybe it will touch some of you who experienced or are experiencing something similar.
I got pregnant with Maggie when I was just 19. It wasn’t a very good situation, and I was in no way prepared for motherhood. During my entire pregnancy, I didn’t really bond with her. I didn’t feel like I knew this person, and I was so scared that I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to actually have her. See, up until Maggie, I had never really held a baby. I had never changed a diaper. I had never experienced any of that. I had always said I didn’t want kids, and I meant it.
I was petrified of labor. And then she was born. It was a six hour labor with no drugs. She came into this world clean and absolutely quiet. I can still remember the doctor holding her up as if it just happened. I can remember her face and the way she looked. But most of all I remember how I felt. I was one of those people who instantly bonded with my child. I understand that doesn’t happen for everyone. But for me, I just felt like, “Oh my god, I’m a mother.” I loved her so much. I knew that I wanted to spend my entire life loving her and trying to to the right thing by her.
But I was very young (20 when she was born). I was also very poor and very inexperienced. I know these things have deeply shaped the person she has become. I have not always been a perfect mother. There are things I regret so much and wish I could take back. There were times I resented her because I couldn’t go out and do the things my friends were doing. Or because I didn’t have extra money. But now, I know that was so stupid. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Now that I am 35, I can honestly say, I no longer care that I didn’t do what my friends did when they were 20 because I have Maggie. What could ever be better than that?
When she was little, we were so poor. We used to share a frozen dinner at night. I can remember my co workers bringing me in food because they knew that I wasn’t going to eat that day so that Maggie could eat. I worked two jobs, and my boss was so amazing. I worked overnight at the newspaper, and he let me bring in a play pen so she could be with me while I worked. What would I have done without him? I am so thankful for that kindness.
But Maggie was very, very sick as a child. She was born with a suppressed immune system. So, she was in the hospital a lot until the age of 6 when she started to outgrow it. This meant she couldn’t go to daycare a lot. Luckily, I had professors who loved me and were deeply compassionate to me, and they let me bring her to class. Maybe that is why she is so smart or so mature. She was always around adults.
Once, when she was 18 months old, the doctor told me that she didn’t think Maggie was going to live. We were in the hospital and Maggie was very sick with meningitis. The doctor told me that I needed to start preparing myself that Maggie may never recover. I sat by her bed all day and all night–every day– for three weeks (21 days exactly). Then she opened her eyes, rolled over, and said, “Mommy, I’m hungry.” I have never in my life heard sweeter or more precious words than that. I can still remember the joy I felt when she woke up and spoke to me.
There were other joys too. In fact, almost everything about her has been a joy. When she was 12, she entered the dreaded teenage years. She got snarky and a huge attitude. She started doing and saying things that I wasn’t proud of. I couldn’t believe that this was my Maggie. I just kept thinking, “Please, not Maggie. Don’t let her turn into one of those teenagers.” And then, she didn’t. It was a short lived few months of fighting and meanness. But then, she just stopped. I hope I had something to do with that.
I learned how to be a parent with Maggie. That means, I have made some pretty big mistakes. For which I hope she can forgive me when she gets older. There were times I yelled about stupid stuff. Times when I put my needs before hers. Times when I wasn’t paying attention. But we have grown together. I think I will always feel so close to her because we grew up together. I always joke that I don’t get a lot of people because I have never been an adult without having a child.
What does that mean for her? It means that she is 15 and she tells me everyday before she gets out of the car to go to school that she loves me. It means that when she sees me out in public, even if she is with her friends, she will hug me and say hi to me. What 15 year old do you know who does that? It means that we dance in the car and in the living room. But it also means that she had to be more mature. That she grew up too fast. It means that she didn’t have the same life as her younger sisters.
And that’s the breaks. I tell her that sometimes it is hard being born first. And sometimes it is hard being born to a mother who didn’t even know how to change your diaper. And it is hard never having known your biological father. These things totally suck. But what we got out of it is a relationship in which I love her more than anything. I know I have put some unrealistic expectations on her. When I realize that I’m doing it, I try to change. But I don’t know, I’ve never had a teenager before. There is a learning curve. And most of all, I want her to not grow up to be like me and to have my life. So, I push her to be better. Sometimes, I know, I push too hard because the truth is, she is already so much better than I am. And nothing could make me happier or prouder.
I hope when she grows up, she will know that everything, every decision, every mistake, I have always done with love in my heart and because I wanted what was best for her.
So happy birthday to my smart, capable, compassionate, interesting, beautiful daughter.